YESTERDAY?

where do I put it
the anger
 the rage
where do I vent my spleen

where is the moment to yell
 to scream it

when is the time to say
I give up

when do I walk and where

 when is enough
  too much

when do I know
 I don't care
and
say it

I DON"T CARE!

yesterday?

WALKING

sometimes I feel as if i can walk forever

I leave the house invigorated by the departure

feeling free at last as if I had been restrained, kept inside by some invisible hand or command

I rush forth into the weather that is always a surprise

neither good nor bad

just different

I welcome the influx of nature

where I pretend

I can walk as far as I see

and beyond

But

I live in a jail, a huge jail

every moment, every step defines and limits me

I interact with what is

always

in search of what

is yet to be

I am on the cusp of non existence while existing exquisitely

with every breath

I don’t want to go back

I don’t want to stop

but I must

and I will

because

there is always an end

and another end

before

The End.

FAILED ATTEMPT

FAILED ATTEMPT

I thought I had plowed through
the forbidden
shattered sheets of invisible glass
reached into darkness to
the calm warmth of oblivion

In death there is darkness
comfort
freedom

Then day arrived
greeted by people (do I  know them?)
they prey
they thank god today.  tomorrow
declare themselves non bwelievers

they hover over my naked body
loosely covered by a thin white sheet
put there to prevent my exposure.

They don't understand
I am finished with my body

I push the sheet away
I scream "no no!"
through my closed mouth

Everything is blurry
except the white tape on my left arm
the clear glass bottle
that hangs by my bed

Soon that too will go away
and darkness will find me